1.) I antagonized a male goose who happened to be guarding a nest and my husband almost had to defend me, but the goose saw how big he was and backed down.

2.) My dad bet me that I couldn't go catch one of the "Bannie" (Bantam) chicks from its mama. Apparently they are violent, so the hen attacked me and made me do so crazy high steps.

3.) They dive bomb my cats.

4.) My dog used to just eat heads off of birds. Once when I threw one of the carcasses over our back wall it landed upright in a tree. All my friends who came to our BBQ that night wondered how a headless bird could just hang out in a tree like that.

5.) Birds carry more diseases to humans than any other animal. I've witnessed them poop on the lettuce at night at Walmart Supercenter when there were no customers around!

6.) They are always "strutting around crapping all over the place".

7.) My aunts rooster attacked everyone.

8.) My neighbor's turkey humped people.

9.) A big crow stalked me through the window of my kitchen sink.

10.) My dog murders them within seconds, but he waits for me to cook 'em up before he will eat them.